Knitting Trolls

Skirting the issue....

Thursday, August 31, 2006
Dear trolls:

Last night I was perusing the small farmer's market on 39th Street, buying me some 'maters, when what appeared before my eyes but a man wearing a skirt. He looked normal from the waist up - shaved head, black Harley t-shirt - but rather than pants, he was wearing an ankle length black skirt - kind of like this guy:

I told Melanie about it and she said that her fiance used to wear skirts in college! What?! If you saw clean cut Jason today, you would not believe it. Turns out from a quick search on the internet that there are plenty of heterosexual males that like to wear skirts. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I was dating a male who liked to wear skirts... Lord, I have enough problems with the dating pool without having something new to worry about!

Learning something new every day,

Everything good must come to an end...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Yarn: Lily Sugar 'n Cream - one solid and one variegated
Needle size: 7
Pattern: Mid-month dishclosh knitalong

I love this dishcloth and am very proud of myself as I learned how to knit with 2 yarns and carry the one not in use up the side! Woo hoo! I love learning new things...

My boring, do nothing, vacation is ending - tomorrow is back to work and I am sad. True, I didn't even begin to tackle my to do list but I did get a little knitting, a little cleaning, a few errands and some reading done. And I saw friends and family so all in all, it was good... Even though it made for very boring blog posts.

Dragging my ass back to work tomorrow,

Vacation - all I ever wanted?

Friday, August 25, 2006

Pattern: Cameo Faggot Stitch Scarf
Yarn Used: Lion Brand Wool-Ease Chunky

Pattern: Windy City Scarf from Stitch and Bitch

Yarn Used: Bernat Satin

OK, so I'm in the midst of a seven day vacation from work and what have I done? Spent hours shopping at the mall for a dress to wear to a wedding and then hours browsing thrift shops. That's about it. And what did I buy from those hours spent shopping? One pair of shoes from Payless. Sigh... I feel as if I have had the most unproductive 2 days possible.

But Troll Trish did come through and let me borrow a dress to wear to the wedding that is absolutely what I wanted. She hasn't even worn it yet (it still has tags on it!). I'm almost scared to wear it but she insisted I borrow it. What a friend... And in other good news, I got a call for an interview for Tuesday. Woo hoo! Wish me luck...

In knitting news, I have knit the above 2 scarves. The gray one I love - I was originally going to knit this one for charity but I love it so I'm keeping it. The second one is screwed up so badly I cannot even give it to charity so don't know what I'm doing with it. It's the Windy City Scarf from the Stitch 'n Bitch book and I think I had the wrong gauge and that's part of the problem. The hole is too low in the scarf and I followed directions exactly. But I didn't check my gauge because it's a scarf! I did screw up the hole a bit because I was watching TV and somehow got extra stitches. I love the colors but it just isn't right. Sigh...

I think part of why I'm not enjoying this vacation is that I'm PMSing in a big way. I was watching Grey's Anatomy last night while I was knitting - a show I don't normally watch. And God, it is the most depressing show ever! My God, people dying left and right! I just knit and cried and wondered why I get invited to so many damn weddings especially since I may never get married and how cruel is it for me to really want to get married and get invited to a million weddings but I can't meet anyone that I'd consider marrying. Yep, it was a knitting self-pity PMS night. The only thing missing was wine consumption (which I considered).

Working on enjoying what's left of my vacation,


Remedial knitting....and dating...

Sunday, August 20, 2006
I've been engaging in some remedial knitting this August - scarves! I'm trying to use up some cheap yarn from the stash so behold these Lion Brand Homespun beauties that are going to charity.

The first and last one are based on scarves in the Stitch 'n Bitch book, the middle one is from this pattern. It was a bitch to knit with the Homespun but I still like it.

I've also been doing some dishcloths, like this Martini one. Cute, huh?

And I managed to teach myself how to increase by knitting into the front and back of a stitch. Behold, the practice kercheif - this is definitely going into the charity bin since I really don't think the milkmaid look is going to come back.

And yes, I have been on a couple of dates this week (yes, 2 in one week!). The first one was so damn boring I thought I might have to poke my eyeballs out with my fork. I found myself telling him about a segment I saw on America's Most Wanted just to have something to talk about. I don't know what's sadder - that I had so little in common with him or that I spend my Saturday nights knitting and watching America's Most Wanted.

The second date was much better - we had a lot to talk about and a lot in common but I wasn't attracted to him but in a friend way and apparently he wasn't attracted to me either as I never heard back from him.

Soooo... Lesson? I'm not missing a damn thing by not dating. Really...

Checking out the nunneries,


Screaming Cicadas...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006
No, that’s not the name of my latest imaginary band – although I think it would be a cool band name. It would have to be an indie/alternative band, though, as Cicada is kind of a intellectual sounding word. It’s too frou frou for a rock band…

No, screaming cicadas are what I’ve been dealing with nightly. Ernie’s latest thing is to capture cicadas out on the balcony and then bring them into the apartment. Who knew I had such a cicada problem out on my balcony? Literally, this is a nightly occurrence. Usually, the cicadas have been maimed and therefore cannot fly so I have to pick them up with paper towels before throwing them outside again. And the cicadas do scream when Ernie catches them – it’s not their usual annoying buzzing sound but literally screaming. Sooooo disturbing…

Growing up in a small town in Kansas, we called them locusts rather than cicadas. I didn’t start calling them cicadas until I moved to KC and realized that’s what everyone else called them. Why did we call them locusts? Was it because we were born in the bible belt and we were used to stories of fire, brimstone and locusts being cast upon the land? According to Wikipedia, cicadas are commonly referred to as locusts although they are unrelated to true locusts (which look more like grasshoppers as you can see below.) I also remember chasing my brother around with the old skins you could find on trees. Aaah, good times…

So there you have it – your biology lesson for today! I have been doing some knitting which I’ll post later on, I promise…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go pick up chewed cicada heads off my bathroom rug….


I'm a joiner...

Friday, August 04, 2006
I love that pic that Bridgette just posted - what cracks me up about the whole thing is that the boys were the ones who dressed up for the concert with their wigs - not the girls! And I had totally forgotten how we used to scream that line of the song - I think I blocked that memory out on purpose.

My mental illnesses should come as no surprise to Bridgette since we were roommates for many years - it's just that now I'm getting older and I'm too tired to try to hide them anymore. My latest mental illness - I'm becoming an "official" knit blogger and joined a dishcloth knit along and a stashalong (to help rid myself of all that damn yarn).

The dishcloth group is really cool - they send out 2 patterns a month. The first pattern is a "mystery" as they only send you 10 lines of the pattern a day for the first 7 days. This month is my first month and the pattern calls for sskpo which I only guessed at how to do so I think I'm screwing it up and god forbid I actually try to educate myself and look up the directions. Directions are for pussies! Hey, it's a dishcloth - I'm going to do dishes with it. Enough said...

Yarn "clean" for 4 whole days,

Okay Trolls! I am back to blogging. In between my travels and hair band concerts I have even done some knitting. I guess I am going to have to post a picture of my "piss-poor " progress so I can be worthy of the blog! I do have a fun pic to post at the request of my troll Michelle. Who by the way has finally succumbed to the deep end of the pool! Cyber-stalking? I thought that was just fodder for a Lifetime movie? I have to admit I have Google-stalked ex's also. Remember Rodge the Podge? Unfortunately, I have dated very boring, unsuccessful yet law-abiding citizens. I always come up with zilch. Anyways, I think cyber-stalking is okay if it was by accident. She should stop having the same interests as you. Maybe that is really a compliment if you do have so much in common?

Okay, so here are my Poison/Cinderella concert pics. What a great time. Looking at them makes me want to tease my hair. The resemblence between the two pictures is incredible. It's just an older, fatter version of Poison. Where can I get that screen saver?? I remember a time when Michelle and I would play "Every Rose Has it's Thorn." Good times. Here was our favorite line: "...and now I hear you found somebody new, and that I never meant that much to you, to hear that tears me up inside and to see you CUTS ME LIKE A KNIFE!" Nuff said...

P.S. Do you think I could knit an off-the-shoulder, mesh tank top?


Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Dear Sinning Trolls:

My friend Heather, aka The Slutty Widow, gave me a nun calendar for Christmas because of my celibate existence. Sometimes I dream of running off to the nunnery - you wouldn't have to have a job, I'd get to wear my favorite colors (black and white) every day, I wouldn't have to worry about hair or makeup because Jesus loves me just the way I am, etc. Do you think they'd let me knit at the nunnery? Below is my calendar picture for August:

I absolutely love this picture only because I picture myself as that nun on the far right - the one with the smirk on her face and the totally radical cat eye sunglasses... That is so me...

Just call me Sister Mary Flanigan,

Hmmm.... Wonder why my flowers are all squished?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Owner of a spoiled rotten cat,